Earlier this year, as January bled into a gray February, my partner glared at the dark green English ivy in our flat and said, “I think it’s dead.” Being the optimist in our relationship, I swiftly rebuked him and said, “No, it isn’t.” We spent 15 minutes quibbling over the plant’s vitality, examining its browning leaves, the sparseness of foliage near the roots, and its overall limpness. I was resolute, so being the dutiful husband, my partner finally gave in and allowed us to hold on to our verdant friend. After examining the soil, he pruned the plant and voiced a suspicion that someone—most likely him—had overwatered it. By the end of the week, the ivy was no longer with us.
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